What to do When Everything is Going Right

Hey, y'all -

I was reminded the other day of a topic I'd brought up at an AA mtg a couple years ago: "What do you do when everything is going RIGHT in your life?"

I kinda felt at that time that the answer was, "You wait for the other shoe to fall."

That reflected my negative attitude at the time.

But now my answer is, "You count your blessings."

Let me ask you -- When was your last episode?

If it's been a while, then count your blessings.

With bipolar disorder, it's not IF we're going to have another episode, but WHEN (and how severe).

If we don't believe that, we can get complacent, and that episode will sneak up on us when we're not ready for it. We'll stop watching for signs and symptoms, and not be able to catch the episode before it happens, or at least catch it while it's still a "mini-episode" and before it turns into a full-blown episode.

I'm not saying to be so vigilant to the exclusion of everything else in your life by any means (or else the bipolar will have control over your life instead of the other way around, which is what you don't want), but just to be aware.

And I'm not saying to "wait until the other shoe drops" when things are going right.

Just enjoy when things are going right. Count your blessings when things are going right.

But be aware that things can change at any time, and be prepared.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember that God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Replace Bad Thoughts with Good Ones for Bipolar Health

Hey, y'all --

I was talking to my mom yesterday, and I don't know about you, but my mom has what I call the "mom button."

I can be talking to her about anything and everything that's going on in my life, happy as can be, and then she pushes the "mom button," and the next thing I know I'm crying and telling her all about my problems!

Well, here I was talking to her yesterday, and telling her about my problems, and she had some sage advice. Because she has bipolar disorder too, I usually listen closely (and follow) her advice.

She told me to replace every bad thought with a good one. Specifically, that every time I think of a problem, to think of something that's going right.

So I tried it last night.

I thought about the heater that isn't working right. Then I thought, "Well, I'm comfy under all these covers, and I'm pretty warm."

I thought about my bipolar disorder and how I'm so tired of having it. Then I thought, "Well, I'm stable and high-functioning, so that's not so bad."

I thought about my teenage son and how he's back home living with us (again). Then I thought, "But he really isn't here that often."

I thought about all the repairs that need to be made around the house. Then I thought, "But I live in a beautiful house, where at one point I was homeless."

I thought about how my husband is in so much pain from his surgery. Then I thought, "At least he's recovering, and it could have been worse."

Last night, I fell asleep counting my blessings. Mom was right!

Try this and let me know how it works for you.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Bipolar? No Matter How Bad You've Got It...

Hey, y'all --

My husband had to have surgery the other day, and what was supposed to be a simple, same-day surgery ended up with complications and he had to stay overnight so, of course, I stayed with him.

I worried and, needless to say, it was hard to watch him in that much pain, so a couple of times I just had to take a break, going to the gift shop or the cafeteria, or whatever.

While I was in the surgery waiting room and on breaks, I overheard other conversations and I felt guilty, because some of these people really had it rough.

I talked to one woman who had cancer herself, yet was there waiting on her 21-year-old daughter to have surgery on a growth they had found in a really bad spot in her body.

There was another woman whose husband had had a stroke, and they didn't even know if he would be able to walk again.

It just made me so sad. So much pain and hurt there.

I felt guilty that I was so selfish, so concerned for myself, my husband, and our own situation, that I had lost sight of the fact that no matter how bad we've got it, there are always other people out there who've got it worse.

I'm not discounting the fact that bipolar is bad enough to live with, but if that's the worst thing we've got, then we can deal with that.

This whole experience helped me get things in perspective.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Sleep and Bipolar Disorder

Hey, y'all --

I wanted to talk to you today about sleep, because too many people underrate its importance with their bipolar disorder. You wouldn't believe how many people go into episodes over this seemingly small thing!

Sometimes when someone goes into an episode, they think it's because of their meds, when it was really caused (at least in the beginning) by their loss of sleep. You're supposed to have 8-9 uninterrupted hours of sleep every night if you have BP.

If that sleep is interrupted, or if you start getting less than 8 hours, for a period of time, it can lead to an episode.

I know, because it's happened to both me and my husband, and we've both gone into manic episodes because of it.

Here's another example of how important sleep is:

At one point, I was waking up as tired in the morning as I was before I went to bed. It wasn't my medications, and it wasn't a side effect of my medications.

It was a side effect of poor sleep.

I had a sleep study done, and found out that I wasn't getting uninterrupted sleep. It was fixed with what they call a CPAP machine, and now I sleep through the night.

Just wanted you to know this, because you need to have good sleep habits to prevent bipolar episodes.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Don't Let Your Bipolar Disorder Overwhelm You

Hey, y'all --

Well, I've got some good news and some bad news.

I just got the results of an MRI on my neck today and found out I've got bone spurs and decreased spinal fluid on my C-spine and discs. What does that mean? It means it explains the pain I've been having in my arm for 4 months, to begin with. It also means possible surgery, altho we're trying a few other things first.

Now, my first reaction was panic. But I practiced what I preach, and I started self-affirmations and calmed down right away. (Like, "They're not saying you have to have surgery right now. You can worry about that later. And it isn't life-threatening.")

Then I started thinking positive. If these other things work, I will be out of pain. So I'm believing that these other things will work. I don't mind the physical therapy. The steriod shot in my neck I'm not too crazy about, because I had one before, and it didn't go too well. But, again, I can choose to be negative or positive, and I'm choosing to be positive. Just because the other one wasn't the greatest of experiences, doesn't mean this one won't be a good one.

The good news is, I do have a choice. I can let things overwhelm me, or I can choose not to let them overwhelm me. Like my bipolar disorder.

One of the reasons I'm stable is that I don't let my bipolar overwhelm me any more. Oh, it used to. But then I learned ways not to let it. Medication played a big part in my stability. But so did stress reduction and relaxation techniques, affirmations, and a positive attitude.

You have choices, just as you saw me illustrate above. You can choose to let things overwhelm you or not. You can let your bipolar disorder overwhelm you and control you or you can take control over it.

You CAN learn to manage your disorder!

Just like I WILL gain control over this pain. I WILL do the things necessary to gain control over what's causing it. Even if it means eventually having an operation. I will accept that if it becomes necessary.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Remember to Take Short Breaks

Hey, y'all --

Yesterday I was changing out my summer clothes to winter clothes, and got so caught up in it, that hours had passed before I realized that I hadn't taken a break.

Well, guess what?

I was exhausted, irritable, and needless to say, had it gone on much longer, my bipolar disorder would have suffered.

Now, I know this sounds like a small thing, but it's something you need to know.

When you're doing a big project, or even if you're working all day at a job, you need to take several short breaks. If you're working, you need to take more than the allotted 2 ten-minute breaks (it's important to your bipolar disorder, and I'm sure your boss will understand).

Otherwise, you will burn out. You will feel overwhelmed.

One time I tried to clean out my closet, and got so caught up in it without taking breaks that I burned out. I could NOT finish cleaning out my closet. Then I felt worse than I did before I started the project, because I hadn't completed what I started out to do.

When you feel overwhelmed, it can lead to depression, and you know that is one place you do NOT want to go when you have bipolar disorder.

So if something so easy to do as take short breaks can keep you from going there, why not do it?

Today, I still practice this. You would think it would be a disruption to my work, but it actually helps my work performance a great deal. I take a 10-minute break every 2 hours, and it keeps me from feeling overwhelmed. I actually get MORE work done, believe it or not!

I wish you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Getting Back to Bipolar Basics - Affirmations

Hey, y'all --

Recently I was reminded that I've been stable for so long that I've forgotten where I came from, and that can be bad. Santayana, a great philosopher said, "Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it." I sure don't want to repeat my mistakes, or it's back to the institution for me!

So, it's back to the basics...

One of the things that's helped me the most is positive affirmations.

I learned this lesson the hard way. Because of having the type of bipolar that I do, without medication I heard voices when I hallucinated. Oh, not the type that told me to kill myself or anything, but kind of "background voices" like you would hear in a restaurant while you're eating -- you don't know what they're saying, but you know they're there.

So I taught myself affirmations, like: "Michele, you're not really hearing these things. It's just the bipolar talking."

Other times, when I'd be really anxious and nervous, I'd say to myself, "I'm only feeling this way because of the bipolar. It'll pass."

Sometimes, when I'd feel really crazy, and afraid that I'd end up in the hospital again, I'd say, "You've been here before and made it through, and you'll make it through this time, too."

When it got really bad, I'd tell myself, "Michele, you're getting out of control. Get a grip. You can do it, I know you can. Practice the things you've learned." or, "Michele, you are NOT superman, you need help."

These are some of the kinds of affirmations I'm talking about. They've gotten me through some pretty tough times.

Affirmations are any positive statements you say to yourself that help you get through whatever situation you are facing at the time.

There are also positive affirmations you can say on a daily basis. I've done this saying them to myself in the mirror every day, especially when I was first diagnosed.

I'd say things like, "You have bipolar disorder, but you are still ok as a person. You are NOT your disorder."

Or, "Today is going to be a great day. I am not going to let anything upset me."

Or, "I am going to maintain my stability today. I am going to do my best to stay stress-free."

These are positive affirmations that really helped me. Now, I'm not saying that they worked perfectly every day. Again, like I said, I am not superman. And I'm not perfect (another thing I had to learn the hard way).

But I still use affirmations today, and they do help me to maintain my stability.

Wishing you peace and stability.

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Balance is the Name of the Game with Bipolar

Hey, y'all --

Well, back from vacation means back to work! Being me, I have a tendency to overcompensate, so I'm trying to play catch-up as well as do all new work, so I'm pretty busy.

The problem is that, with that comes a tendency to put work before my bipolar disorder, and that is a HUGE no-no!!!

I'm not saying that bipolar disorder should come before EVERYTHING else, but I'm saying that we need to learn balance. I've learned very well how to manage my disorder, and balance is one of the main things I've had to practice in order to maintain my stability.

In order to keep balance in your life, you have to prioritize. The problem is, sometimes I forget that, and hey -- I've got to practice what I preach, right?

Like last night, I worked until 7:30 pm, because I was working on a big project and I wanted to finish it. So who got neglected? Well, hubby, of course. Fortunately, he is the most wonderful supporter in the world and he was so gracious about it. But still, it was a sign that I had my priorities out of order.

Too much of that, and for too long a period of time, and your bipolar disorder can get out of whack, know what I mean?

Balance. That's the name of the game.

So, anyway, how come everyone's so quiet? Talk to me -- what's going on with y'all? I worry when I don't hear from you.

In the meantime, I wish you peace and stability.

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele

Distractions Can Affect Bipolar Distorder

Hey, y'all --

Well, I'm back from my vacation, and I wanted to share some insights about what happened.

The first week was great. We stayed in a condo right on the beach on Sanibel Island, FL. It was everything I could have asked for. Weather was beautiful...beach...pool...privacy...company of a wonderful man (hubby)...peace and quiet...away from work...relaxation...

The second week was just the opposite. It rained for days in a row... construction going on... hammering all day right next door to us... loud noises all the time (and I mean LOUD noises!)... until the last straw...

We woke up one morning and had our usual coffee on the screened-in balcony...

And all of a sudden there was a HUGE noise...

It was a crane!!!

And it held some painters moved up to OUR screened in balcony by a boon -- OUR balcony window! Right in front of us -- on the second floor balcony!!!

Now, this was like 7:30 in the morning, you need to know.

It was like watching a big screen TV, these two painters painting the balcony right in front of us while we sat there drinking our morning coffee in our pajamas! If it weren't so aggravating, it would probably be funny (you're probably smiling as you read this).

And every time they needed to move over to paint another small area of the balcony, the big noise of the crane and the boon would start up again. This went on for over an hour and a half!

Besides the noise... besides the interruption of our morning quiet time together... besides the fact that here are two strange men watching us while they painted right in front of us...

Was the fact that the paint fumes gave me a migraine and aggravated hubby's occipital neuralgia (pain in his head).

So that was the last straw! And we packed up and left, cutting our vacation short.

Oh, I forgot to tell you -- when we complained to management about the construction and all the noise and the painters and all, all they said was, "Oh, it's just a little maintenance." Just a little maintenance??? And they wouldn't do anything about it (like move them to another part of the resort where no one was staying at the time, maybe???)

Anyway, the point of all this is that distractions can aggravate your bipolar disorder. They can be triggers. Of course, this was a huge distraction for me, and my anxiety level shot sky high. If we hadn't left when we did, my disorder would've shown its ugly head much more than it did.

As it was, I had to take my anti-anxiety medication to calm down. And head home early.

As far as hubby's BP, it triggered his irritability, and he had to take his medication for that. I think he packed faster than I did!

Lesson to be learned: When you have bipolar disorder and you're going somewhere away from home, away from where you feel safe and comfortable (and stable)...

Always leave yourself a way out.

Fortunately, we were able to leave early, as we were in a resort and we had driven there. If it had been a cruise and something had happened and our bipolar disorders had been upset because of distractions, we would not have had a way out.

Also, always, and I repeat ALWAYS, make sure you take enough medication for your trip. That was one thing we did -- we made sure ahead of time that we not only had enough for the 2 weeks, but enough for a few days after as well, which was good because we arrived home on a Sunday.

Anyway, I know this has been longer than I usually post, but I wanted to tell you the whole story.

Moral of the story? Before you go anywhere, consider all the scenarios of what might happen and plan for all eventualities.

We could have found out ahead of time that September is this resort's usual "maintenance month" every year if we had asked ahead of time if there was anything "special" we needed to know ahead of time that would affect our stay. If we had known to ask if there was anything out of the ordinary going on at the time that we would be there.

I know it seems like a strange question to ask, but consider this: What if you are planning to stay in a quiet hotel... and then find out a convention is being held at that same time? You wouldn't know that unless you asked ahead of time.

Or what if you are planning a week's vacation at a cozy getaway, and find out it's Spring Break, and a bunch of teenagers are staying there at the same time?

Well, like I said, it's great to be home! (Like Dorothy says in the Wizard of Oz, There's no place like home...There's no place like home...There's no place like home!).

Wishing you peace and stability... (and I hope y'all did ok while I was gone, tell me about everything!)

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele