Everything Happens for a Reason
Hey, y'all --
I've been thinking -- what if I didn't have bipolar disorder? Seriously, I mean, don't get me wrong, I would LOVE it if I didn't have the disorder, but think about it -- what would I be doing with my life? I've been writing for bipolarcentral.com and helping other people with bipolar disorder for 4 years now! I just can't imagine doing anything else so rewarding and fulfilling with my life.
What if they found a cure? What would I do? Go back to work? And do what? Be a medical transcriptionist or respiratory therapist again? No thank you, don't think I could handle the stress, bipolar or not.
But just think about it. The idea of not having bipolar disorder any more. No more mood swings. No more episodes...
Hey -- NO MORE MEDICATION!!!
That would be one of the greatest parts of all for me. I hate taking all that medication every single day. Wow -- medication free. Woohoo!!
Ah, but no more security, either. Disability isn't the greatest, but at least its been some type of financial security, and Medicare has paid all my medical bills. But if I didn't have BP, I wouldn't have those bills, now, either, would I? No more doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist! No more drugs!
Gosh, what freedom! I could probably go off disability and get a real job again.
But what would I WANT to do? I want to help people.
You want to know the real truth? I don't want to do anything other than what I'm doing right now. I wouldn't want things any other way than the way they are now.
Ok, so I have to take medication every day, but I'm stable. And I'm not a millionaire (I never would have been, anyway) -- but I'm rich in other ways. And I help people, people that wouldn't have gotten help if I didn't have bipolar disorder and the ability and willingness to help them with my experiences and this blog. And with the writing I do on bipolarcentral.com.
You know, everything happens for a reason. I really believe that.
I would never have been happy married to anyone else, having any other children than the wonderful 3 boys that I have, living anywhere else, in any other house than I have, driving any other car than I do...
I can't imagine being happy being anyone else or living anyone else's life.
Mine is just fine, thank you very much. Bipolar disorder or not, everything happens for a reason, and there's a reason that I have it. If for none other than to help other people with it.
And that's good enough for me.
Wishing you peace and stability,
Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele
posted by Michele @ 4:35 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
You are sooo right! You know how you can only fully appreciate being well after you have been sick? I am totally feeling that way right. Since going off my meds for this baby, I can see just how normal I felt, because right now I have been having ups and downs like crazy. (my poor husband....) I don't think I will mind too terribly going back on the meds! This baby is supposed to be here for a reason, and maybe one of those reasons is to reiterate the fact that this is a lifelong disorder, but also the fact that I can be stable!
Michelle --
You would have ups and downs with a baby even if you did NOT have bipolar, I hate to tell you! :)
Part of this is the BP, but part of it is just hormones, sweetie. Tho this must be very hard for you, I do so love your attitude. You are going to be just fine. And just think of how great it will be to hold that precious baby in your arms, back on your meds, and stable! Of course, you are as stable as I've ever seen anyone without meds, and you're doing it right, under a doctor's close supervision. I just don't know how you do it. You amaze me!
Blessings,
Michele
No meds, no bipolar...yippee. But, would I be the person I am today? I think not. I like thinking about no bipolar and no meds, though. Thanks for that.
Cindy--
Amen and Amen.
The point is, we wouldn't be who we are today. I don't know about you, but I like who I am today.
Michele
This is my 4th, so I am no stranger to all the fun hormones.... I was having a little trouble before getting pregnant, although it hasn't been all that bad. What's been driving me crazy is actually the ADHD! I can't focus on a darn thing! :-) Thanks for the encouragement. Having this blog to read helps a ton. I know I am seriously lucky and watched like a hawk. I am just going to keep praying and trusting the Lord and my own instincts, and everything will be fine in the end. :-)
Hi,
I appreciate your courage to publish a blog and write everything that you go through. That shows that you dont have inferiority complex.
On the other hand, I feel instead of constantly reminding yourself that you have it by writing about that alone, you can also look at other things to write about.
I am not putting general comments. Please feel free to look at my blog: www.aparnack.blogspot.com
I too had this same problem once upon a time, but by focusing on other aspects of life, I feel I never had it.
Cheers
Aparna
Gosh! you sound so positive... but at this point, I'm not. Not so much, anyway.
I think I'd be really happy without BP. I know we're all different (even w/o BP) but it's tough when you have nobody to talk to...specially about what you go through everyday. i mean.. other people do have issues n problems too.... but their problems are in the "normal" range. n i know it's not right or fair but (these days) i keep thinking others' lives are so much better. i how i wish i had their life! :-/
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