Bipolar Disorder Makes Us Stronger

Hey, y'all --

You know the expression, "Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger," right? Well, obviously, my bipolar disorder hasn't done me in yet, so as crazy as it sounds, I'm going to tell you that it's actually made me stronger.

In my morning reading, I found "pearls" that back up what I'm saying. Lines like:

"When I face a fear, I am given courage; when I support a brother or sister, my capacity to love myself is increased; when I accept pain as part of the growing experience of life, I realize a greater happiness; when I look at my dark side, I am brought into a new light..."

I can relate to the "dark side" part as the depressive side to my bipolar, but also as part of some of my manias as well. My manic brain, with its delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia at times, has taken me places I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go.

But I have survived every one of those experiences, and have emerged a stronger woman for it -- because every bipolar episode leaves me with an even stronger resolve not to let the "dragon" (my bipolar disorder) get the better of me.

This blog means so much to me. The chance to use my experiences, bad or good, up and down, to hep other people, offers a gratification like no other.

Again my morning's "pearls" ring true, as they say:

"Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worthwhile to us now."

Over the many years that I've been writing to you, I've shared much of my past openly and honestly -- the suicide attempts, institutionalizations, multiple marriages, substance abuse, etc. -- behaviors before I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and became stable. (And many of you have shared the same openness and honesty with me, and I appreciate your trust in me.)

But now let me share the greatest "pearls" of all from my reading this morning, lest you mistakenly believe, as I did, that those were all "wasted years." Read these words with your heart:

"What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me...Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish..."

I hope these words touch you as much as they touched me.

For those who have followed my writings over all these years, I hope you will respond.

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele