Time Flies By

Hey, y'all--
I am so sorry for not writing for so long. I guess it really is true that time flies by--it sure has this month. I had said in my last post that things were getting better each day... but I ran into a few problems. I was still having problems sleeping, so my psychiatrist prescribed me that new sleeping pill, the one you see the commercial for. I forget the name of it, just that it starts with an R... and I became, as Bill puts it, the "Wicked Bitch of the West." Truly! It wasn't that I got depressed, just that I became really bitchy! Everything seemed to irritate me. And I didn't get any better sleep--worse, in fact. It was a real light sleep, and I woke up with everything. Well, Bill saw one of those commercials on TV for the new sleeping pill, and said that it said something about the drug messing with your hormones, so I threw it away (after checking with my psych). At least with the Lunesta, I slept through the night. It took me awhile to fall asleep, but once I did, it was a deep sleep, and through the night. So I through away the sleeping pill, and I'm back on the Lunesta.

Also, and here's something y'all might want to know. I was leaving my doctor's office and ran into a girl I used to be in a bipolar class with--and she told me, like me, she used to take an antidepressant with her mood stabilizer, and she used to have to go into the psych ward at the local hospital like one week on and one week off, she was so messed up by her bipolar. She was real suicidal, too. She also used to be on six medications. She told me how she heard that antidepressants "cancel out" mood stabilizers, so she went off hers, and she's been stable for six years!!!! I did some reading about it on the Internet, and found some info on it as well, and there is controversy over it, but some research does indicate that taking antidepressants with mood stabilizers actually can harm the person with bipolar disorder, or at least make the mood stabilizer ineffective (the last thing we want!). So I saw my psych and told him about it, and threw away my antidepressant, and I've been feeling absolutely great ever since!!!! It's been over a week now, and you wouldn't believe the difference. Hope it keeps up this way!

Remember, God loves you and so do I.
Love, Michele

Just Another Saturday

Hey, y'all--
Just another Saturday, went to some yard sales this morning, then wrote some articles for the upcoming August Bipolar Newsletter. You're going to like it. Then again, you always like it! Dave does such a good job--it's always interesting, and always has such good articles, something for everyone!

Well, things are going along well, as far as wedding plans, anyway. We decided to go on a cruise for our honeymoon, and had a yard sale to raise the money, and we did!

Each day is getting better and better since I had the shock treatments. My memory is getting better day by day. So are my moods. I'm finally starting to feel like myself again.

I'll write again in a few days and keep y'all up to date on things. Till then, remember--
God loves you, and so do I,
Michele

Feeling Better from ECT

I can't believe it's been this long since I've written--I feel like I've let y'all down. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. It's been a little rough this time around; had to have a couple extra treatments, and I'm just now starting to feel better. The memory loss was worse as well. Do you believe that one day I even couldn't remember my own last name? I've been talking to Dave about putting a humor section on the website, because if I didn't have a good sense of humor, this thing would eat me alive!

Today is the first day I've started to feel like "me". What a privilege, almost, to feel like myself again. I sure can't take that for granted! Oh, I feel so blessed today. Appreciated the simple things, ya know? Like posting on my own blog. It feels good to be able to write to y'all and catch you up on things. Even though there really isn't anything new to report, other than that this round of ECT is over, and I survived another round!

Well, I guess there is something new to report. We have set a date to get married! October 14th. That is something good to talk about--two bipolars getting married. That's not something you hear about every day. Bill and I are a success story when it comes to that. Especially coupled with the fact that we are also both survivors of alcohol and drug abuse. But we were best friends for over 3 years before we fell in love, so being that close, and knowing everything about each other, being there for each other through everything we went through, well, I think that helped alot.

But, ya know, I was married before, and he wasn't bipolar, and there was no way in the world he could have ever understood me, no matter how much he cared about me, just because he wasn't bipolar. There's just something about one bipolar being able to understand another one that goes without saying. Like Bill and I never fight. We just never have, in all the years we've been together. Because we have such a deep understanding of each other, things that no one else would understand, things having to do with bipolar. Like I just don't have to explain myself at times--he just inherently understands--because he goes through the same thing, just because he's bipolar. It just makes things so much easier. Not perfect, mind you, but easier.

I'll talk more about that next time. Until then, remember--
God loves you, and so do I.
Michele