Made it Through!
Hey, y'all --
First of all, I'd like to welcome Princess to our family! I hope y'all will welcome her too (she is on the last post, if you want to "see" her).
Well, I made it through my "day surgery" yesterday -- they stuck a needle into my spine through the back of my neck (I know, and yes, it was as bad as it sounds). They think I have a pinched nerve and that's why I've been having all this pain in my right arm. Anyway, it's OVER (I had to be AWAKE for the whole thing!!!!!), and they say it'll take about a week to show results.
But God is good, and I know (I pray) this will turn out well. It has to -- I type for a living! :)
Anyway, I hope y'all are doing well.
Melissa, when is your mom coming again? I hope you're pumping yourself up and doing all the things we talked about. Mostly, watch your stress level and your triggers. Definitely practice your relaxation exercises, ok? You'll be ok, I'm praying hard for you to make it through this.
Well, I'll keep this short but sweet. Have to visit my psych today (get new meds).
I wish you peace and stability,
Remember, God loves you and so do I,
Michele
posted by Michele @ 8:24 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Hey Michele,
Things have ataken a turn for the worst here. My mother and I are fighting right now because she is not happy with a decision my husband and I made. We asked my best friend charlie to come live with us. This has angered my mother as she hates this friend. She is presently trying to manipulate me into uninviting Charlie. She is pulling the some old stuff, re: suicide, the I don't care about her, etc etc. This has caused me to go into a full blown episode but I am working my way out of it. Yesterday was the worst day ever and thanks to Charlie I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wrote her today and told her that daniel and I have the right to make the decision we want to make and that she has the right not to like them but they are our decisions to make and she needs to learn to just deal with them. We have a right to live our lives seperate from her. Don't know how she will ltake that but I felt better after having set that boundary.
We are suppose to go get her the 2nd and take her home again the 6th. Charlie is due in the 9th. Right now I do not know if she is still planning on us going after her or if she is going to drive herself here. I don't know if she is going to stay at my house or get a room in Santa Fe ( two hours away and where she needs to go to court at). Time will tell I guess.
Melissa
Michele,
I am glad you made it through the procedure. I really hope it helps ease your pain. Good luck with it.
Oh, no, Melissa!
This is awful for you!
Ok, this is what you do -- learn about something called "detach with love" -- you ought to be able to Google it. If you have trouble finding out about it, look under borderline personality disorder, it's a concept from that. You need to learn to do this with your mother. You're still letting her trigger your BP. It's not worth it! You are too precious!!!
Detaching with love means that you can still love her without being pulled into the stuff she pulls on you -- like the suicide thing and the stuff with Charlie.
Try to research it and let me know if you have any trouble, and I'll tell you more about it, ok? I'll be watching here everyday looking for word from you. Don't worry, sweetheart, I'm here for you! And I'm praying for you. We'll get through this together.
Just don't let this episode get the better of you. Reread the post on triggers and do what it says!
Remember God loves you and so do I(and I mean it for you),
Michele
Thank you Michele,
Last night was a bad night and if Daniel had been home I would have had him take me to the hospital. I was worrying myself so I called Charlie and we talked for two hours. Somehow like always he pulled me out and got me thinking clearly. I promised to call my doc today and discuss a med increase and adding some meds for anxiety.
I woke up this morning not feeling as depressed or as anxious as I was last night. My mom can do this to me everytime. I sent her one email yesterday and just told her that I have the right to make the decisions for my life and she has the right to not like them. but they are my decisions to make. I got two more heated emails back from her and decided not to even respond to them. She has a right to feel the way she does but I don't have to keep the arguements going. So I am letting it go. In the last email she pretty much disowned me. I have decided that she just isn't healthy for my mental health. I am going to initiate no contact with her for awhile.
My moods still are not stable but at lest I aint in the shape I was in yesterday. Thank you so much for being there. I refered back to your post last night and it did help me get through the worst of it. When I started imagining things that were not there I tried some relaxation and breathing exercises to get me through it. It helped greatly. My episodes are mixed episodes. They always have been. I had one heck of a headache from bouncing through my moods. I would go from manic to depressed at the drop of a hat. I felt like I was losing my mind and I have been doing this for three days now.
Anyhow, she aint coming to my house. She is driving herself down and getting a room in Santa Fe. She says she don't feel welcome in my home anymore. Maybe it is better this way. I love her dearly but can't keep doing this with her. I will research the detaching with love today and find everything I can find on it. Thank you for being here and for all your great advice. I know my episode aint over but it aint like it was last night but then I usually do fine during the day then get out of control once I am alone at night.
hugz
melissa
Melissa!
I am so proud of you! You did everything right! Keep going on from here, and you'll do great! Oh, you did so well, especially cutting off contact with your mom. Unfortunately, some people are what we call "toxic" people to us. Even the people closest to us. Anyone/thing that trips our BP is bad for us, and we have to avoid it. You go, girl! :)
Michele
Thank you so much Michele. That means alot to me. To hear you tell me I did good was just what I needed.
I just wanted to extend my warm welcome to Michelle and Princess. Sorry it took me so long to welcome you two to our lilttle family. I am looking forward to getting to know you both.
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