Monday, March 19, 2007

All We Have is Today

Hey, y'all--

I was reading in one of my books this morning, and wanted to share something with you, along the lines of the "One Day at a Time" idea. Because with my BP, if I try to do it more than that, stress comes on me pretty quickly, and I get overwhelmed. Next thing I know, I could be struggling with a bipolar episode, and I avoid that at all costs. One of the reasons for my stability is keeping my life relatively stress-free.

Anyway, here's what the reading says:
"All we really have is now. We have no past time and no future time. As the saying goes: "Yesterday is gone, forget it; tomorrow never comes, don't worry; today is here, get busy." All we have is the present. The past is gone forever and the future never comes. When tomorrow gets here, it will be today."

I especially like that last line: When tomorrow gets here, it will be today.

Anyway, hope you have a great One Day at a Time today!

Would love to hear how y'all are doing -- haven't heard from some of you in awhile.

Remember, God loves you and so do I!
Love, Michele

Sunday, March 11, 2007

People fighting over opinions?

Hey, y'all--

I just came back from reading Dave's blog, and I'm not sure how I feel. I mean, I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but it's like these people are actually fighting over theirs! One thing I've had to learn in becoming a high-functioning person with Bipolar Disorder is to keep my stress level as low as I can, so that I can be as stable as I can, for as long a period as I can. I mean, for me at least, that's the name of the game. That means taking my medication, seeing my psychiatrist and therapist on a regular basis, exercising regularly, eating a healthy diet, etc., etc.

I used to fight with people alot. I used to think my opinion was the only opinion that counted, actually! I thought *I* had to be right. And if I was right, then it only followed that YOU had to be wrong! I mean, I'm not exactly a "Peace to all the Earth" type person now, but I at least believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I don't appreciate someone throwing their opinion down my throat. Especially on a BP blog, where people should at least be treating each other with respect -- I mean, after all, we are not children here. Why is it so important that if I am right, you have to be wrong?

It reminds me of something I heard at an AA meeting (I'm not sure if I've shared this before or not, but it bears repeating). If I'm sitting on this side of the table, and you're sitting on that side of the table, and there is a big crystal hanging down from the ceiling between us, what color is the crystal? Now, I might say the color is red. And I would be telling the truth. But you might say the color is green. And you would be telling the truth as well, wouldn't you? The truth as WE see it! So, can there be more than one truth? I usually say, "There is your truth and my truth, and the real truth somewhere in between."

But the point is, do we have to fight about it? Isn't there enough room for each of us to believe in our own truth? What does it hurt me to "allow" you to have your own opinion? Can't I go to sleep at night peacefully, believing my own truth, letting you believe yours as well? It really bothered me that these people were actually fighting over their opinions!

Ok, I've said my peace. With that done, may we all enjoy our own opinions without forcing them on other people. Remember the old expression, "Keep the Peace?" How about, "Keep the Stress Down!"

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Feeling fat and ugly

Hey, Y'all--

Just got done posting a bunch of new posts on the InnerCircleForum. It's been so long. I hate to be so cliche - but time really does pass so quickly! (when you're having fun? yeah, but I haven't exactly been having fun!). So go check it out if you get the chance.

Went to see my therapist yesterday. I've been depressed. Really depressed. Not episode-depressed, just woman-type depressed. I told her I'm feeling fat and ugly. I've gained 25 pounds since Oct. -- since I got married -- that's 25 lbs. in 4 months! Never mind that my doctor says it's cuz of a thyroid problem. I'm still fat and ugly to me.

So my therapist asks me if I were to draw a circle, what percentage of my depression would be my body/weight? And I tell her 50%. And she asks what about the other 50%? So I say 25% would be my health--lately it's from one doctor to another, trying to get healthy again. So that leaves 25% unexplainable. I don't know why, I tell her--why do I have to choose a reason? I'm just depressed!!!!! So she asks me why I don't tell my psychiatrist, and I say because he'll just up my medication again, and it's about as "upped" as I want it to be!

So now I'm thinking, what if this isn't even a depression? What if it's just hormones? What if I'm just BITCHY????? Think about it--I just got diagnosed with thyroid problems. I'm already in menopause (and can't take hormones cuz they give me migraines). Reckon there might be a connection here? Hmmm...so now I'm thinking about this.

Have any of y'all been through this?