Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey, y'all --

Well, tomorrow's Thanksgiving, and for some of us with bipolar disorder, it's not always an easy time. For myself, well, I remember 3 Thanksgivings ago, when I was in the middle of a course of ECT (shock treatments), and I still don't remember that day at all, and today I am thankful for my stability.

But on Thanksgiving, we go to my husband's grandmother's house, where all my husband's family gathers for the day. Since both my husband and I have bipolar, it isn't easy for us. We both feel overwhelmed and anxious, so we can only stay for a couple hours. But we know this, so we're prepared in advance.

We know all the kids will be there, which is a trigger for us, so we go to the furthest place away from them that we can, and we stay there. It's also easier for us, because we can maintain the smallest amount of conversation we have to with anyone else as well.

See, we're used to our small world at home. It's comfortable and safe for us here. It's a place where we can maintain our stability. Maybe someone else might look at us and accuse us of hiding, but we don't look at it that way. There is peace and serenity here. And very little stress (which is another bipolar trigger). We enjoy being with each other, and we're not bored.

When we have to be around a bunch of people, like at the holidays, stress becomes greater, and we have to watch ourselves. That's why we keep the contact down to a minimum (like only a couple of hours), and basically stay in a corner by ourselves, or only around his mom, or a couple people we feel safe with.

These are just some of the coping mechanisms that we've developed over the years that have gotten us through the holidays. But we've learned this the hard way, because we have gone through years when it wasn't so easy.

I remember the first year I had to go to Bill's grandma's house for a holiday meal and I wasn't prepared for all the noise, and I got overwhelmed and ran into the closest bedroom and had an anxiety attack. I couldn't come out of that bedroom until Bill calmed me down and finally persuaded me that he would take me home if I would just come out of that room. He made our apologies and took me home.

Then the year of ECT, well, I was just so out of it. One of his cousins just talked and talked and talked at me, and I mean AT me the whole time. All I did was stare back at her. I had nothing to say. I felt like a cornered animal.

See, for some people holiday times are happy times. And Thanksgiving truly is a time for thanks-giving. But for others, it's a really stressful time. And it's hard for family to understand that.

But there's that other side of the coin that we have to understand, too. Our families love us. Just the way we are. They want us to be part of family celebrations just because. Just because we're, well, just because we're part of the family. And they don't have any expectations that we're going to be perfect (we're the ones with those expectations). They'll understand if you have to leave early because you feel overwhelmed. They'll just be glad for any time that you can spend with them. So don't avoid them just because you're embarrassed about your bipolar disorder. Do the best you can with it, and they'll understand. They're your family, and they love you.

This year we're going to Mamaw's. Kids and all. We're not going to stay long. We never do. And we're going more for Mamaw's sake than ours. If we had our way, we'd stay home in our nice, peaceful, safe home. But they're family. And it's only two hours -- we can spare that to put a smile on a few faces. And besides, if we feel overwhelmed after only an hour, we can always leave. That's our choice.

So anyway, I just wanted to share these thoughts with you. If you are stable and healthy, be very, very thankful for that. And pray for those who aren't.

If you are struggling with your bipolar right now, be thankful that at least you aren't in the hospital and can read this right now. There is always something to be thankful about, even if it's only the small things. You are alive. You have a chance for stability -- recovery IS possible. And you have this place to come to, where you know you're not alone, at Thanksgiving, as always.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I wish you peace and stability.

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele