Spirituality and Bipolar Disorder

Hey, y'all --

I had someone ask me yesterday if I am a Christian. And I was almost embarrassed to answer, because I don't feel as if I've been a very good one lately. I mean, I wrote those daily devotionals for people with BP and all, but that doesn't make me a good Christian. Those are just works. They're not representative of my faith.

And right now I'm struggling with my faith. I seem to want to do things my way instead of God's way, when it's supposed to be the opposite. It's like taking something to the altar, leaving it there, then two steps away from the altar, there it is again in my hands. Now God didn't put it back there, I did, right?

I have faith. I know I do. But I also have fear. And right now I'm praying for God's direction on something very important having to do with my writing. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision, and that fear has me paralyzed.

I'm so good at giving advice to other people, but so bad at it myself, know what I mean?

Well, the Bible says, "If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God." So that's what I did.

And here's the answer I got: "I do not have the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

I first learned that scripture when I was really struggling with my bipolar disorder and my spirituality. I thought, "If God loved me, He would just heal my bipolar." But then I found that scripture.

And it told me that God HAS given me a SOUND MIND! It doesn't mean that I don't stuggle with the symptoms of BP from time to time just like y'all do, but I can think about that scripture, and it's like a positive affirmation, and it really does help.

But anyway, back to my fear. Ohhhh...yeah....I get it (thanks, God!)! I can use that same scripture on my fear! "I do not have the spirit of fear..."

Wow. Isn't God great?

Wishing you peace and stability,

Remember God loves you and so do I,
Michele