A Sad Day

Hey, y'all--

Well, tomorrow would've been my sister's birthday, so I'm a little sad today. I plan on buying one (just one) cupcake with a candle on it and put it in front of her picture and sing her happy birthday, like I did last year. I miss her so much, and it especially hurts this year because everything else feels so vacant. It feels like such an empty Christmas, like I've been blogging about.

I'm not sure which is worse -- sad or depressed. Or what the difference is, really. Does anyone know the answer to that? All I know is that both hurt my heart.

Part of it I know is because I'm all about family, if nothing else. And this year I won't have family for the holidays. Nobody wants to get together, my kids want to cancel Christmas, told me not to decorate, they're not buying presents, they're all broke, etc. They just don't seem to get the idea that it's not about presents at all -- I just want to SEE them for Christmas! That's the only gift I want. Today my youngest told me I won't be seeing my middle son and his girlfriend, like I was assuming. (See? That's my problem -- I assumed it). And my oldest never comes out on Christmas.

A good friend said she and her hubby are just going to relax and watch movies in front of the TV on Christmas. That sounds so peaceful to me, I think we're going to do the same thing. Not sad, just peaceful. Sad comes from my bipolar. Peace comes from my God.

Remember that God loves you and so do I!
Michele