So Far So Good
Hey, y'all --
Well, so far I'm still doing good (yeah)! I'm so skeptical of medications, or at least new medications, I should say, but this one seems to be working. I finished up the rest of the articles for the newsletter this morning, and was really able to focus, which is a big deal for me. I like that. The month before that I was in like this fog -- like something was in my head, ya know? The closest I can compare it to is like how you feel when you get a head cold -- all stuffed up in your head? Like that, but all the time! And soooo exhausted, too, all the time.
This morning I even (for the second day in a row) got up an hour earlier than I have been getting up, which surprised me. So, here's to hoping this is a new trend for me and it'll keep up!
I just really like what I do. I love writing articles about bipolar, and hoping that I'm helping others out there who struggle with the same things that I do on a daily basis, with BP. Some times are better than other times, but basically I'm stable, which I'm grateful for (God, am I grateful for it). So, being stable for a long period makes it more tolerable when you have that one "off" day.
Well, at least that day isn't today, anyway, thank God (and I do!). Anyway, I like to hear back from some of y'all -- it makes me feel like I'm not doing this in vain, and that I am helping some of you with BP. I know how hard it is, especially when you don't have a support system, or much of one, anyway, and you can feel so alone. I'm so lucky, because I have a built-in support system in my husband, who also has BP (altho that can also be a trial sometimes).
But if you're going thru a hard time right now, let me know. Maybe I can help. I do care.
Remember that God loves you and so do I!
Michele
posted by Michele @ 10:58 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
i am bipolar. how does this blog help me?
Michele, I'm so glad you're feeling better! I can't tell you how much I envy you, having a writing job! I hope this medication continues to work out for you. I have to get in the habit of checking this blog more often!
Lizz
Hi, Lizz! I do hope you'll check this blog more often, would love to hear from you! re: having a writing job, believe me, it truly is a dream come true, a gift from God.
Oli-- as far as how this blog can help you, the more you visit, and the more you ask questions, share what's going on with you, the more maybe I can help. Obviously, I'm not a doctor or lawyer or counselor, but I do have ALOT of experience with bipolar disorder, and maybe I can help you. At the very least, I'd sure like to try. I have been diagnosed with BP for 4-5 years now, but looking back, I believe I have probably had it my whole life -- it just went undiagnosed. So tell me some more about yourself?
Remember that God loves you, and so do I!
Michele
Michele,
You sound a very nice lady and I’m sure you know a lot about bipolar disorder. But being a staunch atheist, I'm not sure that God loves me very much. I have a perception of southern ladies that you are not very tolerant of anti-religion views???
My name is actually Robert. My son is Oli -- and I got mixed up whilst using his Google account (we English are not very clever). Oli and my wife (3rd) are the loves of my life. I’m sure you understand the difficulty in relationships when you’re suicidal and the 2nd messiah in the same week. I’ve stopped taking Lithium and antidepressants for 2 months now. My average mood is higher although very up and down. You sound very happy.
Regards, Robert
Michele,
You sound a very nice lady and I’m sure you know a lot about bipolar disorder. But being a staunch atheist, I not sure that God loves me very much. I have a perception of southern ladies that you are not very tolerant of anti-religion views???
My name is actually Robert. My son is Oli -- and I got mixed up whilst using his Google account (we English are not very clever). Oli and my wife (3rd) are the loves of my life. I’m sure you understand the difficulty in relationships when you’re suicidal and the 2nd messiah in the same week. I’ve stopped taking Lithium and antidepressants for 2 months now. My average mood is higher although very up and down. You sound very happy.
Regards, Robert
Robert,
I'm so glad you wrote me back. As far as my not being tolerant of other religious views, I had to learn in AA that a "Higher Power" means different things to different people -- that my idea of God may not be yours or anyone else's, for that matter. The reason I end my posts with "God loves you and so do I" is because I believe that altho you may not love God (or even acknowledge Him), He still loves you.
I've been through alot in my life -- I've had BP for a long time before I was diagnosed, and used alcohol and drugs to self-medicate my BP, and I know that God still believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. He brought me through some very rough waters, and I would be dead if it weren't for Him.
Still, I don't mean for this to be a religious discussion -- forgive me for going off on a tangent about that.
I am more concerned regarding you that you have been off your meds for 2 months now. That's why I understand your comment about being suicidal and the second messiah in the same week, and how that can make relationships difficult. That so well describes a bipolar episode to me -- the high highs and the low lows, both of which are so hard for someone who doesn't have the disorder to understand (and so hard for us to describe to them).
You also said that your mood is up and down. This is also from your BP, and will continue this way because you are off your meds. You may still continue to be ok for a while longer, but there is no telling how much longer. Truly, you need to get back on your meds -- it can be fatal for you if you don't.
My own sister went off hers and 8 months later took a gun and shot herself -- she thought she was better off not taking her medication as well.
That's one of the reasons I am so concerned about you. Please go back on your medication.
I hope to hear back from you soon.
Remember that God loves you (even if you don't love Him), and so do I!
Michele
Michele,
my medication keeps me permanently in a low mood. For my psychiatrist, this is not a problem as long as the bills get paid. In fact, everyone around me is happy except me. They pat me on the head and tell me “you seem a lot better”. But -.I find it better to be up-and-down rather than always down. I’ve only one life. Should I accept permanent misery for others?
Robert
Robert--
If your medication "keeps you in a permanent low mood," then you are NOT on the right medication. That's my opinion, of course I am not a doctor or medical professional. But recently I went thru a bout where I was very depressed, in spite of being on the "right" medication that has kept me stable for quite a long time. The problem is that I am stabilized to the "low" end of the BP. So my doctor has put me on an anti-depression in addition to the meds I was already on, and that has helped quite a bit.
As I said before, if your meds keep you in a low mood, you are NOT on the right meds! There are other medications for you to try if the ones you were on were not working. Please, I urge you to try again.
The first 2 yrs of my diagnosis I had to try many different medications to find the right "cocktail" that worked for me. There is one out there for you as well, and you won't believe the difference it would make once your moods are stabilized. For me it was like night and day.
But please don't give up.
Remember that God loves you and so do I!
Michele
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