Boredom or Depression?

Hey, y'all--

Just wanted to throw out a question to you:

How can you tell the difference between just plain boredom and bipolar depression?

That's been weighing on my mind the past few days, because I've been feeling something, and I'm not exactly sure which. I know something's going on with me, and I don't exactly feel "right," but I don't want to call it depression, either. I don't know if that's because of pride or fear but, either way, what if it is depression? So I'm just kind of going along, hoping each day that I'll feel better, just doing what I have to do to get through each day.

I would much rather believe I'm just bored. I mean, wouldn't you? If given the choice? Boredom we can do something about, at least -- find something to take our minds off the way we're feeling. Find something to do, feel better, then we know it's not depression. Makes sense to me. But I've done that, and I still don't feel right.

So I've gone through my BP checklist, and I'm doing everything right to keep me on track, taking meds, going to bed right, getting the right amount of sleep (actually, getting too much sleep - 10 hrs/night), etc. But I just feel "clingy," is what I told my husband. Clingy is one of my signs of an episode. One of the early signs. But at least I told him. And tired is another one. But tired after sleeping 10 hours? Well, I called my doctor after that one, and have an appt. to be evaluated for a sleep study - it isn't right to feel as exhausted as I feel after sleeping 10 hrs of sleep every night like I do.

So is it one thing feeding the other? Probably so. So if I can keep staying just this side of a bad depression, I'll be ok. I'm doing everything I can, let's put it that way. I'm isolating, but not as bad as I usually do when I go into an episode -- at least I went to the grocery store, and I'm going to the library today. I'm not playing turtle, anyway.

And my husband isn't complaining about my clingy-ness. And I am telling him how I'm feeling, so as my primary supporter, he is aware of what's going on (yeah, right, like he didn't notice it before I told him).

The biggest thing is to keep watching the symptoms. That's what I would tell any of you, so that's what I have to do for myself. So far it's not too bad. Hopefully, tomorrow will be better. If not, I have a good book to read (if I ever get to the library, anyway).

Hope y'all are doing better than me today! :)

Remember, God loves you and so do I!
Michele