The First Time
Hey, y'all--
I know that so many of you are struggling with depression right now, and I know what that's like, you know I do. So many years of it, so long the struggle, so deep the pain... and today, no matter how long you've been depressed, or how deep that depression is, I want you to consider one thing. One simple thought. Even if you are laying in your bed with the covers over your head, you can still do this. I want you to think of this one simple thought:
THE FIRST TIME
That's it. That's all I ask. Think of THE FIRST TIME.
"When we can live our lives as if it is always the first time--the first time we made love, the first time we gazed upon the face of our beloved, the first time we tasted ice cream, the first time we saw a bird--we won't have to try to experience a sense of gratitude. It will be there, automatically, as a natural response to the beauty and the bounty." (excerpt from the book Attitudes of Gratitude).
Let's go back to the NTS idea I shared with you the other day. Your next small step can be simply, right where you are, to think of THE FIRST TIME. Think of the first time you heard music that swept you away. Remember that tune, that voice, that group, and let it play in your head--let it wash all over you.
Think of the first time you held your newborn child in your arms, thinking what a miracle that was. Dwell on that thought for a little while, until you have re-experienced that memory in your head.
Think of the first time you did something you were proud of--your first achievement--and remember that.
Think of the first time you...well, I'll leave the rest up to you. There are so many "first times" that have already made up your life up to this point. They are each a happy memory. Even if you cannot even get out of your bed at this point in your depression, your thoughts can take you to a happier place just by remembering your own "first times." But it is your choice. Only you can do this. I pray that you will make the right choice for yourself today.
May today be an even better day for you than yesterday was!
Remember, God loves you, and so do I!
Love,
Michele
posted by Michele @ 11:47 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Windy--
One thing you can do is click on my articles, and read the article called Medication Noncompliance. That will give you some suggestions on how to get your medication for free.
Also, have you applied for SSI or SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance)? Bipolar Disorder is a mental disability covered by SSDI, and will give you an income.
While waiting for SSDI, you can get food stamps and other govt. aid like Aid for Families with Dependent Children, or something named like that, depending on what state you are in.
In addition, your son, being Autistic, can also get SSDI for himself. Call Social Security and ask them what to do.
DO NOT tell anyone what you wrote in your post, as it would jeopardize custody of your son. But DO tell people you have a disability and need medication. Go to your local Health Department and start there. It should be free. It's ok to ask for help, but don't admit that you are unstable if you are taking care of a child.
You CAN describe your situation as a CRISIS situation, however, stating that you both need help immediately. That will get you food stamps right away, medication help, AFDC, and at least start the ball rolling for housing assistance and SSI/SSDI.
I'm glad you wrote. The hardest thing is to reach out that first time and ask for help, like you have done. But help IS out there, Windy! More help than I have even suggested in this post, but at least you have a good start if you do what I have suggested.
And the biggest help of all is prayer. The Bible says, "You have not because you ask not." It also says, "Ask and ye shall receive." Ask God to help you, and He will. I am living proof!
Let me know what happens, ok?
Love,Michele
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