No Meds, No Happy
Hey, y'all --
Remember the ole, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy?"
Well, that pretty much describes me today about my meds. First, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist today at 2:15 pm. So I get a call this morning that he was cancelling. Now if *I* were to cancel the morning of an appt., I would be penalized, right? But it's ok for HIM to do it! The worst part is that this is my 3-month get all new prescriptions written appointment. So, no psychiatrist, no scripts!
OH...it gets worse...
Now, I call his office and leave a message that I'm out of meds.
I wait several hours, call the pharmacy... NO MEDS!
I call the doc's office back... have to leave another message. Check this out -- the receptionist starts crying on MY shoulder, telling me that the nurses are all busy, and they are one short, etc., etc. LIKE I CARE!!! So I very softly (cuz otherwise she would know my wrath!) explain to her that if I do not get my meds called in THIS AFTERNOON... I will have NO MEDICATIONS FOR TONIGHT!!! (meaning, of course, no sleep for me!) So she says she will leave a message for the nurses.
We all know what THAT means, right? It goes in the same bin with this morning's messages, which obviously still aren't answered.
Now you've got to understand my impending crisis (I know you do)-- it is now after 3:30 pm. They will close at 4:30. They are short-staffed. The doctor is NOT THERE!!! I need my bipolar meds. One of them is a sleep med -- without it I DO NOT SLEEP!
So what do all good bipolars do when they are facing an impending crisis? I DON'T KNOW!!!
I am so inside my own stress tornado that I forgot the answer to my own question!!! Wait -- yes I do... PANIC!!!!!!!
Believe me, I have counseled/coached so many people with bipolar disorder over this very thing... have helped so many over this stress-hump so many times... yet when it comes to me... I just lose it! How awful is that? It's like a "physician heal thyself" type of situation.
I wish I had a super-hero, so I could ask myself, "What would [insert super-hero here] do?"
Well, actually, I do have a What would Jesus do? mentality, but I'm not so sure even Jesus would hold his temper in this situation, considering what He did in the temple to the "den of thieves"! :) (ok, so you got a little smile out of me, which is good considering the situation).
Ok, so it's 3:45. Wow. A whole 8 minutes have passed. What am I going to do with the remaining 45 minutes? Do you really think the nurse will come through for me? Or will I get back on here at 2 in the morning complaining that I can't sleep?
Hmmm.... (as my mom used to say) we shall see what we shall see...
Remember that God loves you and so do I!
Michele
posted by Michele @ 12:27 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Hi Michele,
Just wondering how you were doing seen that you were having a tough time on your last post. Wishing you peace and wellness.
Hi, Cate--
Thanks for asking. Well, you can tell by this post that things were not exactly getting better. I was able to get my meds, tho, eventually.
It just makes me so mad for all of us with BP that the pharmacies and the psychiatrists (their nurses) just never seem to get it right. They have flying faxes...and it always seems to be at 4:30 on a Friday afternoon, when we're panicking, that they finally get to our request for medication.
Sorry, I'll get down from my pulpit now! :)
So, how are you doing? You always ask about me, but you never tell me how YOU are doing?
As for wishing me peace and wellness, my sister, I will take that ANYTIME. I sure need it lately. Things have got to turn around.
I talked to my sponsor in AA yesterday, and she says I expect too much of myself (ergo, I expect too much from others). Gotta work on that.
She also says I have to look in the mirror every morning and say (out loud), "I am a lovable, fallable, child of God."
Remember that God loves you and so do I!
Michele
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