Medication Merry-Go-Round

Round and round she goes, where she stops, nobody knows!

Hey, y'all--

Well, another change in meds for me (surprise). Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get this thing right, or even if we do, if it'll ever last longer than a few months. But then, what's the alternative? The good news is that I have a good treatment team, and we all work together to keep my BP under control. My goal is to take the least amount of medication to achieve the greatest degree of stability.

Well, after my last episode, we had to up one of my meds at night, but this caused me to be too groggy in the morning, so they put me on another med to help counteract that. But the new drug made me too racy, almost put me into a manic phase, so I went off that real quick! So then we had to figure out what to do about that. Kinda the old "between a rock and a hard place" thing. Today I talked to my psych's nurse, and we decided before chucking the new drug, to try a half-dose, so I started on that today, and we'll see what happens. Maybe I'll only go half-manic! :) Hey, if you don't keep your sense of humor through all this, it will get the best of you, believe me--it took me a long time to get that. Years, in fact-- and, looking back, if I had had a better sense of humor about it all, I would not have spent so many years drowning in self-pity and depression, and I would've gotten better that much quicker. Now, I may have a somewhat twisted sense of humor, but, hey--at least it's a sense of humor! If you don't believe me, read my article about what's funny about bipolar, and you'll see what I mean. It's published on the website, or I believe you can click to it from this blog.

My feeling is that sometimes if I don't laugh about it, I'll cry about it. So it's sort of a self-protection kind of thing. Like remembering yesterday that my sister will be dead a year next month, and I know that's coming up, and I'm kinda dreading it, cuz I know I'll be pretty emotional then. But for now, I try to dwell on the stupid stuff we used to do that made me laugh. There's time enough for crying later on. That's how I relate it to BP. We have enough serious stuff to deal with just trying to live day to day with the disorder. Anywhere we can find humor in it--hey, I'll take it!

Hoping you can find some humor in your day today as well--
Remember that God loves you and so do I.
Love, Michele