BAD Week

Hey, y'all--

This has been a particularly bad week for me--one of those Murphy's Law weeks, where everything that can go wrong will, and at the worst times. I did something I thought was the right thing to do at AA, and the whole thing blew up in my face, and what I learned was this: "You can do something with all the best of intentions, and still have the worst possible outcome, sometimes even with disastrous consequences." In essence, I spoke up for someone and I was the one who got emotionally beat up for it--got my butt chewed off by someone in the worst way. So I'm back to crawling inside my own self and my own little hole, licking my wounds, so to speak.

Then my little angel, my baby, my 16-yr-old son (the one with BP), almost got himself arrested by going to a party at a motel and getting caught for underage drinking, and where his girlfriend had to be rushed to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. What fun at 4 in the morning. How many of you have gotten a phone call in the middle of the night that begins with, "Do you know where your son is?"

Also, Bill (my live-in BP fiance) has been waking up during the night, having coughing fits, and throwing up.

Also, Bill (my sister who killed herself's husband) just found out he probably has stomach cancer, too late to do anything about.

Also, my Bill's mom had to have surgery on Fri., fusing 3 vertebrae in her neck.

And, I have had to stay clean and sober thru all of this. No nice, cold drinkie for me to numb any of this stress, no way. I don't get to take a pretty little pill to make all this overwhelming frustration go bye-bye. All I want to do is SCREAM!! I can't take this! I want a day off! I want to run away! I have had enough! But then there's more. And more. One thing after another. I can't even get a good night's sleep.

But enough about me. What about you? LOL

Oh well, if I don't laugh about it, I'll cry about it. And that won't accomplish a darn thing. Well, it would at least lesson the knot in my stomach, I guess. Oh, well.

Anyway, I'll share with you what I wrote in my journal this morning:

"Sometimes I ride with God in the chariots over the clouds and storms that darken the skies of my life. At those times I feel spiritually strong, and "All is well." ("God is in His holy heaven and all is right with the world.") Other times, unfortunately more often than not, those storms and clouds that darken the skies of my life ride over me--those are the times I feel like a woman in a darkened room, feeling around blindly, hands groping the air in front of me, searching for the light switch I know must be there, but I just can't seem to find."

Here's hoping that today will be better than yesterday! Don't give up until the miracle happens. I know that I won't!

Remember that God loves you, and so do I.
Love, Michele