TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
Hey, y'all--
I need some help. I'm trying to write an article on when or if to tell people you have bipolar disorder, and I can't find any information at all out there on this subject (which, of course, tells me that I really need to write an article on it!). So I need feedback from y'all, and lots of it.
Please share your opinions on whether you think we should tell people we have bipolar or not.
For those who chose (or choose) not to tell people, why not? For those who think we should, when do you think is the right time to tell people?
Also, please share your experiences with what happened when you did tell people. How did you tell them? What did you say? How did they react? etc.
Thanks so much for your help.
posted by Michele @ 8:18 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
When I do tell someone I "trust", I always end up frustrated by them. I've had an ex-boyfriend who, every time we'd get in an argument he would say, "Did you forget to take your medicine?", or some good friends who would say, "Doctor's just like to hand out medicine but they don't know everything, don't take it." (I even got that from nurses that I'd worked with. There are friends of mine who like to say, "My sister screams all the time, she must be bipolar," like it's a personality trait. I know that they are not ones I should share this with. We do need to have close friends to share this with, but sometimes the people that we think would be the most understanding often times are not. I think you have to get really close with a person before telling them, after they see who you are for you, not judging you by your illness.
Nicolep
bipolarprincess.blogspot
I would say to wait until you have a relationship before saying anything. Let them get to know you first. Most people don't need to know and when they do, if they shy away from you then it's not meant to be. Of course you are the one really hurt and it's a 2 edge sword but my feelings are to wait, hope and pray they understand. As for me, after dealing with it for years and the fatal outcome I would not get into a relationship again with a Bi-Polar person but who knows, if I fell in love again, I might change my mind but I wouldn't even give them a chance if I knew up front.... Sorry.......
his-twin,
I disagree. I think if you just say good riddence then they will continue to be ignorant about mental illness. Sometimes people have preconcieved notions because they have never actually known someone who is mentally ill. If they see that you can be normal and live a productive life, then when they find out, they will know that they were obviously wrong.
nicolep
bipolarprincess.blogspot.com
Wow, his-twin--
What a great entry! Do you mind if I quote a couple things you said when I start the daily quote on the website? I love the way you express yourself. And I can totally relate to the working in the health care field and then becoming mentally ill. I did as well. Totally different when it happens to you, though, isn't it? Yet how ironic. Challenges you to "practice what you preach."
Anyway, y'all, keep the comments coming--we're doing great! Although the opinion does seem to be divided about 50/50, doesn't it? I would still like to hear more feedback on experiences about what happened when you told people. I can relate to bipolarprincess on the "Did you forget to take your medicine?" part, as Tyler still does that to me when I am just tired and snap at him, or am just in a bad mood or whatever. Do you think we are still dealing with ignorant people out there who misjudge us? Or do you think they are becoming more educated? Why or why not?
Again, thanks for all your comments. You are really helping me. So, again, Should we tell people we have bipolar or not? and why or why not? And do you think there is still a stigma attached to it?
There is a stigma to it, people that haven't been exposed to it think manic depressives are constantly crazy. I think it's important to show them that we can function first, most of the time, we can hold a job, we can have families, we don't necessarily handle stress well, but show them the parts we are able to do first. That is the only way to break the stigma. I'm not ashamed of it, I know I'm crazy. It is a relief to me to call myself crazy because that means it is not my fault that I've spent every penny I've ever made. There is a reason that I scream at my parents and my kids, it's not just that I'm a selfish bitch. But I am proud that, despite that, I am still a good person. I want people to see the "normal" side of me first, so I can explain the "crazy" side in a way they can understand.
Sandy,
Anyone who supports a survivor the way you do deserves great rewards in heaven. May God bless you and give you strength!
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